I lay my burden upon your heavy heart
It’s you who know the most about my pain and inadequacy
I’ve never spoken a word to you yet I know the entirety of what you suffer
It’s time for me to move on and for you to take over
The bane that had found its way to me, and etched itself so resiliently upon the darkest parts of my unseen soul.
I do apologize
For what you may be feeling may hurt more than a thousand pieces of brilliant, broken glass finding their way into your spine.
I don’t blame you if you should lose sight like I did
One day you will find
Someone like yourself
Someone to take over the pain that haunts your little, fragile mind.
Thank you for all that you’ve never done for me.
The reasons all have run away but the feeling never did.
ob·sess (b-ss, b-)
slept the most of my afternoon away today. now i’m feeling like a train-wreck. it’s the kind of depersonalised feeling you get when you wake up from an unintentionally long nap that makes you want to fall asleep forever; i find that it resembles (uncannily) post-stroke symptoms. for some reason it reminds me of when i was younger, when i used to wake up feeling like this every day.
the beauty of analog
Sylvia Plath (1932-1963)
I am silver and exact. I have no preconceptions.
Whatever I see, I swallow immediately
Just as it is, unmisted by love or dislike.
I am not cruel, only truthful–
The eye of a little god, four-cornered. 5
Most of the time I meditate on the opposite wall.
It is pink, with speckles. I have looked at it so long
I think it is a part of my heart. But it flickers.
Faces and darkness separate us over and over.
Now I am a lake. A woman bends over me, 10
Searching my reaches for what she really is.
Then she turns to those liars, the candles or the moon.
I see her back, and reflect it faithfully.
She rewards me with tears and an agitation of hands.
I am important to her. She comes and goes. 15
Each morning it is her face that replaces the darkness.
In me she has drowned a young girl, and in me an old woman
Rises toward her day after day, like a terrible fish.